Category: Outfit of the Day

Painting

August 16, 2017

Everyone knows that in order to be a true artist, one must appear starving at all times. A simple white tee, ratty jeans, and messy hair will help achieve this effect, but most essential are bare feet. Nothing says “my art represents my soul” better than the appearance of not giving a shit while actually giving all the shits that could possibly be given.

For bonus points you can adopt the paleo diet. The disgustingness of this diet will keep you slim, further adding to your starving appearance but most importantly, it’ll boost up your pretentiousness points.

painting

Shout out to my artist friend, Caro, for posing for this shot.

Staring out the window

August 9, 2017

Feeling oppressed by the confines of your office on a beautiful day? The solution is simply to stare out the window longingly, dreaming of the weekend, which will come and go too soon, without having been fully enjoyed, as you were still stressed out about that big project that’s due on Monday. All of this longing and regret is best done in a floral pattern, as it will further emphasize how far away from nature you are, in your office on the 23rd floor. Unless of course your office is in the basement, or in a cubicle somewhere, and you don’t even have a window to stare out of, in which case, maybe an animal print will serve you best, to remind you that truly, you are caged, and will never again be free.

staring-out-the-window

Riding the Elevator

August 2, 2017

A good way to avoid going back to your desk after the unbridled freedom of a long lunch hour is to repeatedly ride the elevator up and down, silently evaluating the decisions that brought you to this point in life. Do so in style with a printed, peter pan collared top, and sleek black trousers. A pop of hot pink in the form of a kicky heel will remind you that you are capable of making good decisions sometimes.

riding-the-elevator