Taking Minutes

When attending meetings you don’t really belong in, and are only there to take note of the important things important people say, it’s a good idea to wear the classically villainous colour combination of purple and green. This will subconsciously remind those important people not to fuck with you. Keep the colours muted though, so you can blend into the background, going unnoticed, thus providing the opportunity for those important people to shoot themselves in the foot by saying scandalous things they wouldn’t normally admit to in front of an outsider. LOL, just kidding, important people don’t, and never will, give a shit about you, and won’t notice a plebeian such as yourself even if you wear a neon sign announcing your intentions to bring their scandalous admissions to the press. Important people are untouchable, and you’re just a big ol’ nothing in a smart vest and cute shoes.

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Data Entry

When doing data entry in an office whose air conditioning is perpetually set to “old man” level (which stands to reason since middle-aged men are the default and anyone not fitting that standard deserves to be “othered”) a jaunty scarf worn ’round your shoulders can help to fight off the inevitable frostbite that threatens your fast flying fingers. A black, yet stretchy, pencil skirt and sweater will keep you office-appropriate while whimsically patterned tights will allow you to pretend you’re expressing yourself, and not fully succumbing to the all-encompassing pressure to leave your significant potential untapped.

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Reception

When answering phones for a living it is essential to wear floral patterns in order to keep a positive attitude towards the dumpster fires of humanity that call in with customer complaints. “Sexy Librarian” chic will further ensure that you are attractive yet non-threatening towards said dumpster fires who come to complain in person.

reception