Gingham evokes a lazy Sunday picnicking in the park, but picnicking in style, with everything coordinated. Your best best bet is to match your dress to your picnic blanket, and to giggle delightfully while taking barely perceptible bites of cherry pie. Once the meal is done, roll around in the blanket, and declare yourself to be invisible. This is peak picnic. Your guests will be highly amused, which will prevent them from calling you Half-Pint or making any other Little House on the Prairie jokes. As such, you will have won the day. Celebrate by scarfing down the leftover cherry pie while wearing pajamas and binge watching Little House. You deserve it.



Argyle is the ideal pattern for a student trying to learn things. Professors trying to teach things can also benefit from argyle. It is a scholarly pattern, sophisticated, and intellectual. It’s upper-crust, but still accessible to us regular folks with high aspirations. I honestly don’t know how anyone could ever absorb any information about anything if they’re not wearing argyle. It would be like trying to bake cookies without sugar. Entirely doable, but it sort of misses the point of the cookie. What even is learning, if you don’t look the part?


Argyle’s also good for just strolling down the street in a jaunty cap. It’s a multipurpose pattern.